Challah: The Good and the Bad

So there's one thing you should know about me if you're going to get my perspective on food- I'm Jewish. This means I've been exposed to interesting foods that have potentially set my health back by about 10 years. For example, matzoh ball soup made with real chicken stock and schmaltz. YUM!! However, there are some  Jewish foods that are not bad for you. One of them is challah, the traditional braided bread we eat on the Sabbath, or Shabbat. Now, there are two types of challah- the good kind and the bad kind, aka homemade and storebought. I know that sounds cliche and generalized, but really, there's a huge difference. Lets break it down:

Storebought

• Very dry, with a very regular-bread flavor. Always needs salt.
  
• The crust is thick, crumbles horribly and is impossible to rip properly. It is also usually either dull (no egg-wash) or overly shiny.It can also be super squishy like a bread roll.
  
• The bread part tends to be stringy when you rip it, and light with no substance. If you squish it, you will end up with a tiny ball.
  
•  Yes, I've had some passable store-bought challahs, but they just really don't stand up to the real thing.

The Real Thing aka Homemade

•   Depending on the recipe, the flavor can range from cinnamon-y and fragrant to sweet to savory.
• The crust is moist and thin but still strong. It is usually shiny from egg wash that is brushed over it before it goes in the oven. It is soft but not squishy- you can tap it with your knuckles and it won't go in. It is rippable as well, always a plus in my house. We're a "tear" family. 
• The bread part is soft and dense but still airy. If you squish it, it just shrinks a little. Most importantly- it is MOIST. 
• Each person has different recipes that they use- I've had ones with cinnamon and nutmeg, ones that use squash and saffron, and ones that use bread flour. 
• Note- I have had some pretty bad homemade challah, but in my book it didn't count because it was made with a bread machine. The challah turned out really tough and... store bought tasting. Homemade MEANS homemade- you're supposed to make it with your own two hands. That's why mixes don't count. 

This is just my opinion. Maybe I'm a food snob and you think your store bought challah is the best. Maybe you make yours with a bread machine, or a mix (even though I've never seen that before...). Maybe you've never had challah- if you haven't, find a Jewish friend and try theirs first. It's probably better than what you get at your local bakery. Trust me.